Sunday, January 25, 2009

Living for the Moment

Today I grabbed coffee with Jim.  I've decided Jim is my life guide.

My dilemma is based in my inability to leave behind what I know for an uncertain future.  Will what I find be better than what I have?  Have I persuaded myself that I will be happy when in reality I will not be?  Questions.  Questions that can in no way be answered until I jump.

And jump is what Jim said.

The only way to find jobs, to make it work, to live a life is to jump into it.  Sitting here waiting for the perfect job in the perfect city is hardly a valiant attempt at changing my life.  If I want to change jobs and change cities, I must first change cities and then find a job.  

This is where the challenge solidifies.  Over a year ago I easily packed up a few items and travelled to the unknown, without a job, a place to live, or anyway to support myself.  Things worked out as they always do, as they must.  

I say that, but now I am frozen, scared of failure if I move.  What if I don't find a job?  What if I can't make it?  How is it that I had the courage to tackle a move once, yet now I find myself quivering at the notion of leaving the only life I know?

But when Jim says jump, I jump!  The deadline is set, the pressure is on.  

Will I make it?

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