Saturday, February 21, 2009

Losing Yourself - Independent to Reliant?

How is is that in two months, I have forgotten who I have become over the past year?

A formerly independent New Yorker, I have come to rely upon companionship.  Tonight I find myself facing a concert without anyone to join me and it has thrown me in a tizzy.  Ultimately, because I can't find anyone to come with me, I have to face that I am alone in the city.  Despite feeling connected and having friends, I once again have to admit that it's me against the world.  

Of course, while writing this I admit to myself that I have had very little sleep over the past few days so I am of course being overly melodramatic and ridiculous but that does not stop my feelings from pervading my every thought.

I feel alone.  I am alone.  I am alone because I have lost myself.  

Tonight I will find myself again.  I will recenter.  I will remember who I am and where I am going.  No distractions.

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